All you bald headed bearded mofos

[TBItoy]

Most of the limp fish handshakes i've gotten were from Northerners......not stereotyping, jus sayin'.

However, i've been known to register more than 2 digits squeezing a bathroom scale with my hands.

I hate it when some overzealous macho handshaker grips too early and only catches your fingers, then proceeds to wag the **** out of your smashed finger bundle and look at you with a smirk like "yeah I won this round bitch".

Used to happen to me all time. Maybe I'm guilty of a limp fish handshake.

 

[tonybolton]

I hate it when certain types of people expect me to do a "custom" handshake with fist bumps and a medley of slaps and finger movements. Usually happens when i'm in Detroit, Washington DC, Atlanta and Mississippi.

blood hand shake

 

[slravenel]

I'm not sure when taking care of a beard and not looking like a cave dwelling child rapist became hipster but beard oil and a balm are a must if you have a long beard. Oh...and a long/growing beard does need to be trimmed back and shaped if you want it to look good and not just like someone strapped a raccoon tail across your face. But I do agree that hipsters are the worst and cant shake a hand or change a tire laughing1

Beard oils - you can go tons of ways on this one, there isn't a whole ton to them...don't fall for some overpriced one that claims a bunch of special extra essential oils and vitamins...they are mostly all the same, just with different scents.

Balm - if you are just trying to have something that is shaped a bit and under control this will help to keep it...if you want the wildman looking beard, you dont need it...but if you want it to be somewhat under control, just pick something that has a decent hold and smells good (even though the smell will go away pretty quickly anyway). I like the Honest Amish stuff, but same thing with this one...dont get tricked into buying some hipsterized bullshit. Honest Amish has been around way way way longer than hipsters have.

 

[The Luke]

I hate it when some overzealous macho handshaker grips too early and only catches your fingers, then proceeds to wag the **** out of your smashed finger bundle and look at you with a smirk like "yeah I won this round bitch".

Used to happen to me all time. Maybe I'm guilty of a limp fish handshake.

I wasn't gonna say anything. But, if the shoe fits.

 

[jeeppoor]

Most of the limp fish handshakes i've gotten were from Northerners......not stereotyping, jus sayin'.

However, i've been known to register more than 2 digits squeezing a bathroom scale with my hands.

I don't think we have ever shook hands. But I don't have a limp hand shake either.

 

[tonybolton]

Your meat is nice an tender, though.

 

[jeeppoor]

Your meat is nice an tender, though.

Ha Ha. Now you are going to have then wondering.

 

[tonybolton]

Haters need something to feed on.....I write them all off as a charitable contribution to the needy.