Asking to much...

[twizt3dfuc]

Re:

Well, I have a similar story, but it doesnt involve lending tools, I have worked on a few things for the guy but its really he constantly wants to be around me, I work alot to get what little bit of money I have. I've known this guy for 23 of my 25 years, his mother passed when we were young. Took him under my wing cause he has a dead beat dad too, I have no problem being nice, but now, its him constantly messaging me through text and facebook, asking me for rides everywhere(he doesn't have a car) he always wants to go places with me, never has any money, ask if I can cover him, or my favorite "borrow". He draws a check from the va, as soon as he gets it he pisses it away on alcohol, which conveniently is why he doesn't have a vehicle( he wrecks his ****) gets tickets for stupid ****, he has never got a dui somehow. Up until recently he has had over $1000 in unpaid tickets, his grandmother paid those off so he'd quit going to jail, he does have cdls, but they are out of date and he has to go retest to get them, so his grandmother gave him money for that too, and he lets a known ****ing pill head borrow money, so now he cant go get his cdls. He always talks about wanting a job, every one he gets, he quits. Has temperament of a 2 yr old not getting his way. Hes turning into a deadbeat just like his dad. Makes me so damn mad, then he always looks for me to buy beer whenever he intrudes on anything I'm doing, and basically tells me I'm an idiot when he gets drunk, one day I feel i will snap on him and possibly beat him to death, but damn a person can only take so much.

 

[stano]

I tend to bars me decision on what I loan/how much help I give based on the attitude of the asker. Ex: if u ask to borrow something humbly and do it because you have tried a hindered other things and nothing is working, I'll loan/help all I can. But if you walk in my shop, look around and say, I need to bring my truck over so you can do x to it, like I owe you something.......well, you best keep moving on......

I did have a guy wander over from across the street and ask if I had a Lazer transit he could borrow, I said nope sure don't. I do have one, just not one he could borrow.......


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[ridefast]

Well, I have a similar story, but it doesnt involve lending tools, I have worked on a few things for the guy but its really he constantly wants to be around me, I work alot to get what little bit of money I have. I've known this guy for 23 of my 25 years, his mother passed when we were young. Took him under my wing cause he has a dead beat dad too, I have no problem being nice, but now, its him constantly messaging me through text and facebook, asking me for rides everywhere(he doesn't have a car) he always wants to go places with me, never has any money, ask if I can cover him, or my favorite "borrow". He draws a check from the va, as soon as he gets it he pisses it away on alcohol, which conveniently is why he doesn't have a vehicle( he wrecks his ****) gets tickets for stupid ****, he has never got a dui somehow. Up until recently he has had over $1000 in unpaid tickets, his grandmother paid those off so he'd quit going to jail, he does have cdls, but they are out of date and he has to go retest to get them, so his grandmother gave him money for that too, and he lets a known ****ing pill head borrow money, so now he cant go get his cdls. He always talks about wanting a job, every one he gets, he quits. Has temperament of a 2 yr old not getting his way. Hes turning into a deadbeat just like his dad. Makes me so damn mad, then he always looks for me to buy beer whenever he intrudes on anything I'm doing, and basically tells me I'm an idiot when he gets drunk, one day I feel i will snap on him and possibly beat him to death, but damn a person can only take so much.

Dude, cut the cord.

It will be the best thing you've ever done. You might question your decision the first few times you flat out ignore him and whatnot, but give it a month or two without being inconvenienced and you'll realize how much better your life has become since you stopped supporting that loser.

Do it cold turkey, band-aid style.

 

[InDaShop]

Sadly it took a bunch of buddies all having different versions of these problems, and all of us talking/bitching/ranting to get it together.

Everyone seems to want **** for free, or you to do it for them. I went cold turkey. Stopped offering to "help", it takes every fiber of my being to keep my mouth shut or deny their request. But I just reflect on how many times its burned me, and that helps.

And if someone comes and asks me if I can fix, or do, or weld, or build "X" for them, I just say "No, I'm sorry I dont do any outside work, I am backed up on my own projects."

Dont get me wrong, there are people in my life that I will drop everything at a drop of a hat for, and they have earned that, as I know they would or have done the same for me. That doors not closed but its definitely a case by case basis.

 

[jayphizzle]

Thats how it goes,,,and for sure dont let them know you work on air conditioners!

THIS! A wise man once told me as I was entering the HVAC field, "Charge your friends extra, and your family double" This way if you're inconvienced often, it'll be worth your while. When people find out that you have a special skill, (i.e. HVAC, electrical, plumbing, mechanic, etc.) they will usually abuse the "favor" .

 

[09zkrankin]

Re:

I have no problem telling people no, everyone wants something for nothing it seems and generally they don't have anything to offer in return. I have a few friends who I would help with whatever I can, whenever and I'm sure they would do the same for me. I will let some of them borrow my tools because they understand how expensive stuff is and how hard I have worked to get it.

My wife on the other hand refuses to tell people no, she runs a small embroidery, vinyl, business in her spare time and bends over backwards to make people happy. She stays busy constantly but doesn't really make much from it because people always guilt her into doing stuff cheaper because they are "friends" or Co workers. I have let a few jobs walk away because they weren't willing to pay what I felt like I needed to make for it to be worth my time, she will not do it, she has actually lost money on jobs just to keep her customers happy

 

[lowbudgetjunk]

Re:

A sale without a profit is a gift. I'm not in the business of giving gifts. Feel free to share this with her. Outside of work is another story.

I will help anyone with anything as long as I'm in the right mindset. If I am going to get pissed about whatever the task, or the person, I refuse. True friends can make me have the right mindset to do stuff that I wouldn't do for myself.

I never ask them to do anything that I wouldn't be willing to help them with. So far, this has kept me from blowing a gasket on stupid people.

Kel Lawrence

 

[09zkrankin]

Re: Re:

A sale without a profit is a gift. I'm not in the business of giving gifts. Feel free to share this with her. Outside of work is another story.

I will help anyone with anything as long as I'm in the right mindset. If I am going to get pissed about whatever the task, or the person, I refuse. True friends can make me have the right mindset to do stuff that I wouldn't do for myself.

I never ask them to do anything that I wouldn't be willing to help them with. So far, this has kept me from blowing a gasket on stupid people.

Kel Lawrence

I have actually told her this before. I think I had saw you or someone post it in another thread and I thought it was a quote to live by

 

[lowbudgetjunk]

Re:

It comes out from time to time. I'm not telling you to control her and make her do this. But, happy wife equals happy life. If she isn't busting her ass for nothing, she will be much happier.

Kel Lawrence

 

[09zkrankin]

Re:

Yup, she is starting to see what a pain people are and that sometimes you are better off to lose a sale than to deal with some of them.

 

[Lil ugly]

I have no problem helping people, but I also have no problem telling people were to go if I feel like they are using me. I tend to not be a very popular person with people that are needy.