If you clowns speak the truth, AND this is your line of work, AND you cant get pics of the holiday "festivities", YOU do not deserve a man card. Someone step up and throw some lines at your customers; if the GGW douche can do it with ease, surely you can!
On an unrelated note, I lol'ed when I noticed multiple condom sense and adult stores surrounding the "Southern Methodist University" campus... dirtay lil church girlies = => pepper.gif => ;D & drool