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Spinoff- Story time, one up me.

5BrothersFabrication

5BrothersFabrication

Zzzzz....
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I love a good story, so let's hear 'em! I'll start-

So in the Army, we do a NATO excercise in Poland. SGM tells us right off the bat: "No bars, no whorehouses." That just let us know there is a whorehouse in town. So we find said whorehouse, I get this hot little number named Olga (and I don't like little chicks, so that says alot) nailed her 3 nights in a row for 80 zloty ($20), some of the best I've ever had. All three nights I felt the rubber bust when I busted. She doesn't speak English, so I tried to find a common language. Asked her if she spoke German (in German), French, and Spanish. By now this chick thinks I'm James Bond. No luck, but I found a whore who spoke English, had her thank her for the best sex ever. Left and never seen her again. However, the next October, I went to Kuwait, my buddy wentto Poland again for the NATO excercise. He goes to town for a Calzone (riiiiiiight....) and spots Olga in town pushing a pretty fresh baby in a stroller. Over the course of a year she managed to pick up a little English, and starts asking Adam where his soldier friend was, all the while pointing at the baby.

So.... I might have a son in Poland. If it's true, he'll be 14 in July.
 
I'm not sure i would be able to 1 up that. But judging by some of the characters on here I'm confident someone will. I do have a story though.

About 6 years ago i was building a house in wildwood, nj. Our whole crew, including the boss/owner of the company, were all staying in a rented house. Not knowing he was a recovered alcoholic, he and i go out for dinner as the rest of the guys went to karaoke. He proceeds to get shitfaced at dinner and we end up at the karaoke bar. A while later he dissapears. A coworker of mine decides to take a black crack whore back to the house. At some point she got mad and tried to stab him with scissors. Cops were called and before they even get there i get a call from some other cops saying that I need to pick up my boss at the station, dui. When the cops show up to arrest the crack whore, they informed me that she was with my boss when he got popped. The night ended with me picking up my boss and going to bed. Then he spent the entire next day doing blow in his room with some other whore and canceled all of his cards when he thought she stole his wallet. Turns out it was behind the dresser. Needless to say, i quit shortly after.
 
Guy I used to work with fought in Vietnam, he use to tell me lots of stories but this is my favorite.

His platoon went to a whorehouse and while they were waiting in line one of the soldiers pulls out his **** and starts jerking off in front of everybody. They ask him what he's doing and he says, she ain't gettin this easy one!
 
Well I got a story for ya...

Many years ago, probably 15+, me and some buddies were camping on the river and riding fourwheelers for the weekend. We'd been drinking all day and everyone was pretty much shitfaced so we turned in for the night around 1am. Hadn't been in my tent long when I hear a truck coming down the trail and stop at our campsite. I crawl out to see what's going on and four people pile out of a Toyota ,3 dudes and a chick. Couple guys I remembered from school...alright no big deal. Then one proceeds to ask me if we have any good music, that his girl is wanting to dance. I'm like ok. So what? Everyone is asleep or passed out, I have no idea. He's like..."no dude...she wants to dance! She's wanting to be a stripper" Hold on I'll be right back!!! Proceed to every tent and wake my buddies up. We all gather round the campfire and she's in the bed of the truck. Starts out a little slow...kinda shy. Well that **** went out the window real quick after the bra finally came off. She stripped down buck ass naked and put on a hell of a show. Then it escalated to her laying with her legs hanging off the tailgate spread eagled and finger banging the hell outta that thang!!! :****: She chilled for a little and then came back with show #2.... which involved getting ice from their beer cooler, shoving it in her *****, then into her mouth and then throwing it at us!!! Probably could've pulled a train on that ol girl... she was red hot! But we didnt.... never had another camping trip experience like that since. Good times!!! :drinkers: flashemifyougotem :cougar: hitit
 
Hell yeah! You got a number? hitit

Here's another-

Hometown recruiting, after basic and AIT, you go home and recruit for 15 days, vacation 15 days. They send us to the adult high school where I start getting hit on by these 2 chicks. One is supermodel hot, the other is an average thick chick, but kinda ugly. I ask em to come party with me and a buddy after school, they agree. We hit the liquor store and come back right as they show up. I mix 4 screwdrivers, 2 with a 90/10 ratio for them (to lower the hot one's standards), 2 with a 10/90 for us (for no whiskey ****). The hot one sits down with the drink, takes a sip, and says, "So, are we gonna **** or what?" I say hell yeah, and the girls go into Jimmy's bedroom and the hot one starts going down on ol' ugly. I'm enjoying the show, then realize I'm the ONLY one enjoying the show. I poke my head around the corner and Jimmy is taking shots of Jack like it's the Civil War and someone is coming to saw his leg off. I tell him to come look, and get the hang on sign followed by another shot. I go in there and hot one MAKES me **** ol'ugly while she keeps doing **** to her. I get a nut and keep on plowing (hot one won't let me stop), and Jimmy finally staggers in and tries to worm wet spaghetti into the back of the hot one. I ended up having to **** em both. Turns out, probably should have worn a rubber with the hot one, she had a knife scar on her leg that said "WHORE" at about 2"x6" and DEEP.

After I let the air out of em about twice a piece, hot one wants to wrestle me on a wager. I win, I get to plow her balloon knot. She wins, she fingers mine. I am pretty confident in my wrestling skills so I agree. I immediately put her down and she says she wasn't ready. I give her another shot, this time I ask, "Are you ready? You sure? Ready?" Then drop her again. She didn't even try. I think she wanted me to slay her turd cutter. And that's about the craziest sex story I have. I think...
 
One more and I'm going to bed.

For visual, picture two skinny white boys from Tennessee and Arkansas, a black kid from Tallahassee, and a cholo (google it) from Compton (again, google it).

Lawton, Oklahoma, Ft. Sill. Big John, a 400 lb black cabbie, picks us up and takes us off post and asks us if we want to get drunk and get laid. Of course, we agree. Big John takes us to the ghetto of Lawton, drops us off with a 40 of Bud a piece to this Indian girl's house. Like woo-woo Indian. She takes us in, hits play on the VCR, and it's the Snoop Dog porno. She takes me back, we do our thing, then Arkansas, cholo refuses because he's married with kids, then Tallahassee. I'm sitting there uncomfortable, the prostitute post-coitus shame, and we're all wondering what could be taking Richardson so long. We bust in on them, and he is on top of this hooker, like LAYING DOWN ON HER, kissing her neck, going slow.... I said, "WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?!?!" He said, "**** y'all, I can only get off makn love!" We leave him to it, and when the door opens, out comes this naked Indian and Richardson zipping up, the hooker says, "Don't worry, lots of people can't get it up with people in the house." We teased that ****er til graduation about that. But Big John picks us up, we give him $20 a piece, and takes us back to base. We never paid the hooker, so that means Big John really was a pimp!

All in all, one of the wierdest experiences of my life. The Snoop Dog porno just threw it right over that line.
 
5bros if we ever meet in person a simple nod and a wave from a few feet away will do as I don't want to touch your nasty ass to shake you hand! :****: :woot:
 
He has a ton of ****ed up stories. They are quite entertaining. Weve been friends for about 13 years. I think I've heard most of em. Sumbitch is crazy as hell.
 
zukimaster said:
Viking, I bet you have some great story's that would top any of these! Please tell! molaugh
Click to expand...
I was in Fire Fighter II and we had a rookie in Fire Fighter I, as a general rule we gave them a hard time, one particular rookie had a girlfriend just under twenty. Everyone was nice to her she had a perfect athletes body, blonde, and a decent rack. Rookie used to get pissed when we would pass and say hey or hello to her or when anyone else would look at her.

Time passes and he starts treating her like **** and I was shaking my head but she kept taking it. Well time passes and she gets tired of it started texting me and I started replying. All the while the fat rookie is fuming calling me when she is late, not home, ect so I figured well why not.

Ended up getting picked up by her one night from the fire hall, I had her drive as I had been drinking, I got fat rookie blowing my phone, my fellow fire fighters from my hall, instructor calling, and wife wondering where I am. The guys knew where I was and what I was doing my instructor was wondering why my truck was parked at the fire hall and all the beer in the bed and no sight of me.

Well we went to the family cabin that my family used to have I was about to go down on this girl but she had one of the worse smelling vages I have ever had the displeasure to smell. I ended up just screwing her and blowing my load on her face my phone had twenty missed calls or texts.
5BrothersFabrication said:
One time, at band camp...
Click to expand...
I had a coworker under another supervisor, I was in supervision myself, who had a crush on me from when I swam in competition time passes we get to talking as I got to know where I knew her from. Well she still wanted to have a go and I didn't much care. I decided to screw her one morning so I met her behind a Church on a Monday morning, figure nobody's gonna be there right. Wrong I'm just about to finish and here comes five people out of the youth building we are screwing behind I finished in the nick of time as I start telling her go go go. Here we go both half dressed climbing from the back of her suv as people are getting within ten feet. I give her this she knew how to leave the scene...... As she fish tailed through the parking lot......

Months later she rolled her suv leaving the cabin as her husband called threatened divorce and not seeing her kids but even after that she still wouldn't leave but I wouldn't be alive as one night I was passed out drunk at cabin and the fireplace caught a wall on fire. She brought me to by repeatedly slamming a Wild Turkey bottle in my head......

I don't talk about the "glory day's" much any more I was a fire fighter in a former life and nearly made it to a paid position but failed out my EMT course drunk. I have many tales and many moments looking back and laughing wondering how in the heck was I not shot by a angry husband or catch AIDS.....
 

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