I am not sure why people are forced to endure such tragic events, it makes me angry to think about good folks that are hit with such misfortune and the most giant pieces of trash that do nothing like leach, lie, and steal can churn out kid after kid to carry on their worthless ways, it is not fair. But life is not fair. Bad things will always happen to good people. I can't imagine what you all are going through. Your vivid and emotional detail was a lot to process. I am always saddened to hear of anything like this, especially dealing with a young, undeserving child. Like Bradley Drake said, and I felt the same when I learned about their boy's passing, no matter how bad it hurts, be strong and the primary support system for your wife.
My ole lady lost her father back in the spring. She handled it better than most women would, but she has had her breakdowns. Had planned a night out with my friends over Christmas break, as she just had a night out with one of her friends 2 nights before, so it was my turn. (her son was at his dad's that week). So I went out and I guess her being home alone that night just got to her. When I got home, she was laying in bed crying and watching the dvd of picture slides they made for her dad's funeral. Now I come home to that, kinda felt guilty about going out, even though it was planned in advance and she already had her night out. She just doesn't do good when she is alone. Just a heads up of what you may encounter with your wife, and I hope you are both able to deal with it in a healthy way and carry all the good memories forward with you guys.