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YouTube of the day

BUG-E J said:
http://youtu.be/5fkHSQsNm5o
Click to expand...
That ain't no "brotha". His name is Chris. He was actually sittin there talkin bout how stupid it was to try to change the flag and take it away. He gets it.. I knew he would say it if I ask him to. He does not give a ****. Neither do I, honestly he's the best neighbor you could ask for. Other than borrowing **** all the time. Haha
 
DirtMonkey said:
Lol, I wasn't fib'n...if there's something more weird out there, I want to see it!
Click to expand...
https://youtu.be/6gm3zz-rOdQ
I'd say almost anything made by this chap would be considered quite weird.
 
This is a story of why I am an asshole.

My wife is deathly afraid of snakes. No clue why, she has never so much as touched one. She has rarely ever seen any. I guess its just hard-wired. One day I was feeling frisky so I decided to rig up a trap for her. I used this rubber bungee cord with the hooks removed and some old fishing line to rig up a system in her garage stall that resulted in the garage door pulling the "snake" across the floor as she pulled in.

https://goo.gl/photos/UYh1U3eKaUHaP66A9

Once I finished it and saw it working I knew she would **** bricks. Here's where the story takes its turn against me though ...

... about 30 seconds after I took that video I heard my older chocolate lab in the back yard barking a weird, steady-beat bark that I had never heard him do before. So I go out back and he is beating the **** out of something with his paw on the ground. I walk up closer to discover that it is a REAL Diamondback Rattlesnake. Its on the concrete pad in front of him and every time he beat the **** out of its head with his paw he is pounding it into the concrete. As soon as his paw leaves it takes a swipe at him but by now he has beat it halfway into unconsciousness and it is reacting very slowly. My younger black lab was running around the yard going crazy like, "HOLY **** HOLY **** HOLY ****!" He was only about a year old so he didn't understand the danger. I got both dogs inside and as I was doing so I could clearly see two bloody spots on the younger one's nose. He had obviously been bit before I got there. The older one appeared to be fine though. So I went back down, killed the snake, and rushed the little one to the e-vet. It was about dinner time on a weekend so there was no other option. By the time we got there his snout had inflated to about the size of a rugby ball. My wife met me there. I spent $2500 on antivenin and other treatments and ultimately the dog was fine. But I still hadn't told my wife about the rigged up fake snake in the garage ...

... I debated about whether I should or not. We were both mentally fragile over the thought of possibly losing our baby dog. I spent so much time rigging the snake up! I didn't know how to tell her about if it I was going to clue her in. Finally I decided to come clean. We were still sitting in the vet office when I told her. Of course she started hitting me, telling me how terrible I was, how I deserved this vet bill. I showed her the above video that I had taken and she freaked the **** out, stood on a chair. It was about 2am when we finally got home and I knew the garage light would still allow her to see the "snake" in the garage. She wouldn't pull in until I got in the car with her. The instant she saw it slither across the floor she started screaming and crying EVEN THOUGH SHE KNEW WHAT IT WAS AND THAT IT WAS THERE!!!!

We finally went to bed. But while she was brushing her teeth in the bathroom I hid the bungee cord under the covers on her side of the bed. She about hit the ceiling when she pulled the covers back.

Thusly, I am an asshole.

An even dumber part about the story ... the snake was textbook eastern diamond back. Its was freaking beautiful. I brought the body in a zip lock bag to the vet just in case they could use it for the antivenin or something. The vet asked me if I knew what kind of snake it was. I told him and he looked at me like I was an idiot. He goes, "Are you sure? Lots of people think they can identify snakes but they can't. If we give your dog the wrong antivenin he could die." Now I'm no snake keeper, but I'm pretty sure an eastern diamondback is fairly recognizable. But I had forgot the bag in the car so I was like, "I'm pretty sure but I can go grab the body if you want." he was surprised that I had it with me but said that it would be very helpful. So I brought it in and he said, "Well, it does look like an eastern diamondback but we'll have to run some tests on it to be sure. The tests will be an extra $500. We can give your dog the eastern diamondback antivenin without the tests but you will need to sign a waiver to protect us if he dies." I told him to give him the shot, I'll sign the waver. A few hours later he comes back out and goes, "We ran the tests on the snake free of charge just in case. You were correct, it was an eastern diamondback." I was like REALLY YOU DUMB MOTHER ****ER??? I WONDER HOW ONE WOULD EVER KNOW THAT!

That's probably just another reason I am an asshole though.
 

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