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How do you break up with an old friend?

patooyee said:
How do I break up with another man that has a majorly weird man crush on me?
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You quit bein a ***** and tell him like it is! :flipoff1:

In my opinion, if you ain't had enough reason to communicate with someone in 9 years, there's nothing more there left to desire. If he ain't picking up hints, he sounds like a dumb motherfucker. The kind of dumb motherfucker that has to be told straight out, even if it sounds mean, like "Look man, I have way too much going on in my life to **** with all these calls and texts, give it a rest!" Then maybe end on a nice note like "maybe we'll cross paths one day"


Then if he keeps on, I'd just go straight to asshole mode, burn the bridge, and tell him to **** off and explain to him that his actions are a little too obsessive to be normal. Take that **** somewhere else.

I hate clingers! I had a guy clinger myself! Used to be a neighbor of mine when we were in high school, rode fourwheelers together a couple times and chatted a handful of times at school. Think we had Chorus class together one time and he over clinged hardcore during that class, even despite me trying to avoid him.

He got to hanging out with shitty people, finally left me alone, I was glad.......yay.....until he done meth with them for the first time then called me wanting to hang out because he was freaked out and didn't have anywhere to go and couldn't go to sleep. He just wanted to hang out a bit and pass time....so I did. We just went riding dirt roads, mainly because I felt sorry for him and was too nice of a guy to say no. Apparently that sealed us as ****ing brothers in his mind or some ****. He ended up in trouble off and on, got on meth hardcore, moved around to different cities and I didn't see him anymore.

Next thing you know he pops up on Facebook messaging the **** out of me wanting to hangout and the first couple times I made excuses.....then I started ignoring his messages completely. Then I'd see him in the grocery store, or at Hardee's, and other places around town. Apparently he had to move back home with mom and daddy for whatever reason. I would always cut conversation short and try to leave asap, even be sort of dickish to him. Blocked him on Facebook and hoped I didn't see him out any more. ****ing weirdo. Been a while since I've seen him, but he sent me a friend request on Facebook the other day, so apparently he created a new profile since I have his other one blocked.

Some people are just ****ing weird and even though you feel like you are being a ****, you are not, because the fault lies with their over-clingy character. A person needs to learn when to take hints and shut the **** up....that counts in several other areas of life, other than just situations like this one.
 
Oh and I'd bone that girl that used to be 14 first, then tell him to **** off. If she was seductive at an early age, guarantee she's a good ****.....just wear a jimmy, cuz she's probably had plenty of practice :****: flashemifyougotem
 
I now ignore my best friend from high school because as I grew up I realized what a douchebag he was and how shitty his family was. We were all friends on facebook but I deleted them all and I ignore him anytime he somehow finds my phone number because its changed a few times with different jobs. Normally I would jump on the bang the now legal daughter band wagon but if his dad is stalking you what do you think would happen if you gave his offspring some good peter.
 
Well, with one of my best friends from college (and after, hell we lived together for 5 years...)

I started dating a co-worker of his that I knew he had a crush on, little did I (or she) know that he was a complete obsessive stalker creeper.

Least to say, things didn't end well between us and I haven't had any communication with him in 4 years or so and don't care if I ever do.

Oh and I married the girl and she's the queen of my double wide shophouse with the polyester curtains and the redwood deck :flipoff1:

YMMV
 
Re: Re: How do you break up with an old friend?

TBItoy said:
Well, with one of my best friends from college (and after, hell we lived together for 5 years...)

I started dating a co-worker of his that I knew he had a crush on, little did I (or she) know that he was a complete obsessive stalker creeper.

Least to say, things didn't end well between us and I haven't had any communication with him in 4 years or so and don't care if I ever do.

Oh and I married the girl and she's the queen of my double wide shophouse with the polyester curtains and the redwood deck :flipoff1:

YMMV
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Win! Lol

**** em. The less you worry about what others think, better off you are. (To a degree)
 
Consider yourself lucky he still wants to be your friend. It seems you changed and were ready long ago to leave him in your past. I dont think there was that much so wrong with your past with him, that you couldn't take a few minutes out of your busy life for him. If you don't have anything in common its hard to have a relationship with anyone. That being said you don't have to have a relationship with someone to care or to give a few moments of your time, just to acknowledge them.

It seems to me as we grow older people tend to close their circles and build voundry that seperates people in their lives into categorys.
The friends and family groups become way to defined. Social media has a way of compounding this.

If your OK with stepping away from him you wouldn't feel guilty about ignoring his phone calls.
 
Your too busy you can't talk to someone who use to bd a close friend for 10 minutes 3-4 times a year?
 
Re: Re: How do you break up with an old friend?

Jduck said:
Your too busy you can't talk to someone who use to bd a close friend for 10 minutes 3-4 times a year?
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No, it's just awkward because we have nothing in common anymore, nothing really to talk about. In general I don't like taking on the phone. I don't just sit there and have long phone conversations with anyone, my wife, anyone. And at its best that's all this relationship could ever be. And if he's this obsessive now think how bad he will be if i do give him the time of day.
 
Re: Re: How do you break up with an old friend?

patooyee said:
No, it's just awkward because we have nothing in common anymore, nothing really to talk about. In general I don't like taking on the phone. I don't just sit there and have long phone conversations with anyone, my wife, anyone. And at its best that's all this relationship could ever be. And if he's this obsessive now think how bad he will be if i do give him the time of day.
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Damn, you are a cold individual. Some call it being an introvert. Just picking.

All kidding aside I just wouldn't answer.
 
Maybe I am cold, but here's another part of it for me. Time is my most valuable asset. Time with family and my daughter is the most valuable thing in my life. I think its wrong for one grown man with a family to long to speak on the phone for hours on end to another man with a family, Its one thing if its a buddy you see on occasion, a relationship that has a productive / meaningful product. I talk to buddies that I see in real life regularly on the phone, albeit briefly. But for the most part if the only thing that we could ever possibly do together is ****-chat on the phone, that time is better spent with my daughter. He's never once even insinuated that he would come visit me, he's not in a financial position to do so even if he had interest. Its only when he finds out that I am in town visiting family that he wants to get together to do anything. And why would I leave close family that I rarely get to see to go visit an old drinking buddy? I just think its weird to want to be with another man instead of your children.
 
patooyee said:
Maybe I am cold, but here's another part of it for me. Time is my most valuable asset. Time with family and my daughter is the most valuable thing in my life. I think its wrong for one grown man with a family to long to speak on the phone for hours on end to another man with a family, Its one thing if its a buddy you see on occasion, a relationship that has a productive / meaningful product. I talk to buddies that I see in real life regularly on the phone, albeit briefly. But for the most part if the only thing that we could ever possibly do together is ****-chat on the phone, that time is better spent with my daughter. He's never once even insinuated that he would come visit me, he's not in a financial position to do so even if he had interest. Its only when he finds out that I am in town visiting family that he wants to get together to do anything. And why would I leave close family that I rarely get to see to go visit an old drinking buddy? I just think its weird to want to be with another man instead of your children.
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you should never leave the house..ever
 
Re: Re: How do you break up with an old friend?

bbone said:
you should never leave the house..ever
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I wouldn't expect you to understand.
 
Re: Re: How do you break up with an old friend?

patooyee said:
I wouldn't expect you to understand.
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why is that? Seriously, either the guy is a friend..treat him like one or tell him yall need to go your separate ways and if he wants to keep up..email you.
 
Re: Re: How do you break up with an old friend?

bbone said:
why is that? Seriously, either the guy is a friend..treat him like one or tell him yall need to go your separate ways and if he wants to keep up..email you.
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Because you don't have kids. I think his addiction to WoW and maintaining fruitless friendships by telephone over being with his children is wrong. I'm not in the business of telling people how to raise their family. By "breaking up" with him I think the convo would ultimately come around to that though and my goal is just to end the fruitless friendship, not make him feel that I am making a judgment call over him.

I know you think I am anti-social because I love my daughter over all other things in life, including my friends. Second to her comes my family. Living 4.5 hours away from me and coming as a distant priority to those two things may make it seem like I just sit inside all the time and hoard over my brood to you, I know that. In reality everything I do is for my daughter though. We go out often as a family, with other families. My wife often complains how I like to go out with her and the daughter when she would rather stay in. The reason I do so, and the sole reason, is to see her interact, learn, and experience things. Seeing her experience new friends, play on the playground, chase other kids around, etc. is the singular pinnacle of pleasure for my entire existence. If you sit here on the internet calling me anti-social, making little snipes at me on social media and via text message about it, I just couldn't give two ****s. Same goes for anyone here. My single purpose in life is to be a good father to my daughter. A lot of that includes social interactions outside the realm of Ben Bone's personal experience and this guy that this thread is about is a part of none of it, will never be, could never be even if we both wanted it.

You are right in that I need to address the situation though. By allowing it to continue I am perpetuating his hope and that isn't right on my part. I just need to figure out how to do it without making him think I am making a judgment call on his life. I thought when I got married I would never have to worry about a breakup again! Maybe I should tell him its not him, its me? :)
 
Just sent him an email politely saying that any time I have that could be spent on the phone is better spent with my daughter, hope he understands as I'm sure its the same with him, and if we should ever cross paths again I would be happy to introduce him to my family. (Obviously I wasn't that succinct with him.) Hope that gets the point across.
 
You just made an extremely big deal out of nothing. Is it that time of the month?
 
Can't go around babysitting others. I wouldn't worry about it, the friendship is obviously not beneficial to you in any way, so you won't miss anything. Maybe I'm a cold hearted asshole too....I think that's the problem with the bigger picture today. People need rejection to make them self aware of their actions. If they are over clinging, they need to be made aware of it so they can improve themselves and strive to not do it as much. If they can't learn, then it's just a tough cookie and life will always likely be a struggle for them.
 

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