blacksheep10 said:
Did you detail what they did at some point I don't remember? I love a good asshole friends story
I did not... It was a combination of things really. Note to all potential grooms, LOCK your car/truck doors.
3 dozen opened condoms (around rear view, over tail pipe, over windshield wipers, seats, etc.),
Vasoline behind all car doors & steering wheel (wedding dress and a rented tux),
3/4 inch x 3ft industrial zip ties (yes, they make them that big/impossible to cut without snips) around both driveshafts and all 4 axle shafts of both mine & my exes 4wd vehicles,
drawings of dicks, and dicks cumming on tits on all the windows including a huge "free handjobs inside" scrawled across the back window of the vehicle my wife drove home in,
a massive drag along just married beer can creation my buddies made with logging rope, 2x4s, and 20 qt & 4 gallon paint cans.
There was also a dead squirrel ziptied to one of my wife's windshield wiper arms who had a condom over his head... with those same 3/4 inch zip ties... Here is the kicker though...
They poured a whole bottle of
baby powder into the cowl of my wife's equinox, which would have been fine had I not removed the cabin filter 2 weeks earlier with intentions of replacing it. Picture this:
Driving home with all this clicking and dragging with dicks and dirty sh*t all over your car, on Halloween... pulling into your neighborhood with kids EVERYWHERE while you frantically try to remove it... changing into work clothes so you can jack your ride up and cut off 20 zip ties, getting redressed for wedding night dinner, and finally hopping back in the car.... Realizing you are hot and irritable you turn on your a/c full speed ONLY TO GET BLASTED IN THE FACE WITH BABY POWDER!!!!! All over the seats, console, dash, vents, sunvisors, headliner, shifter, you & your wife's clothes, hair, mouth, etc. etc.
Ruined my ****ing wedding night
