Worst piece of ass ever!

[TacomaJD]

^^^that's the greatest fawkin thing ever!!!!! I would've give that bitch some more white root right alongside the big :afro: it's only gay if you make eye contact laughing1 laughing1 laughing1

 

[BUG-E J]

^^^that's the greatest fawkin thing ever!!!!! I would've give that bitch some more white root right alongside the big :afro: it's only gay if you make eye contact laughing1 laughing1 laughing1

If you been with brocks mom anythin is great.

 

[5BrothersFabrication]

On a field excercise in Poland, me and two buddies slipped out to a whorehouse. They had the "hooker lineup", where about 6 whores came out and EVERY ****ING ONE of them were a 10... except the madam. The madam was probably 45-ish, but still an 8.5, and smoking body for her age. So she is wanting me BAD, like breaking the lineup and taking me by the hand to lead me away, and I'm like "whoa! I want her!", pointing to Olga. She's kinda upset, but lets me go with Olga anyways. So I'm frailing on this little 90 lb chick with everything I have, and I believe I picked her because of the "manhandling" factor. I can just toss this chick 9' in the air and slam her back down on the cod repeatedly. So I'm frailing for quite a while when I happen to see something out of the corner of the room move. It was the old chick, in a chair watching. ****ing spooked me, but man what a turn on. I start slamming Olga even harder now, but I'm looking at Oldie Hawn over there like it should be her. Man, it didn't take two more minutes of her watching and squeezing her tits, I'm out. Blew it like deeeep in that ****. Pull the ol' cawk out, and there's just a ring. I ripped it off and pitched it before either one of them saw it, then oldie takes my hand and leads me down the hall, and all three of us are still naked as hell, and leads me to the showers. Six open showers, and she turns one on, washes the cawk FOR me (wierd), then starts to rub me back hard. I look over at Olga, who I'm hoping is turned on by this... nope. She's giving me the "I thought we had something" look, so I just let oldie blow me and got the **** out of there. To be honest, oldie was probably the best blow I've ever had. She was like some kind of sex toy that was MADE to get you off quick. I'm talking double fister twister, bottom of the throat action. Bitch was GOOD. I actually went back 2 days later and then a week or so later, and both times oldie was gone, but Olga was there. She tried to cuddle afterwards, carry a conversation in a language I didn't speak, when she was riding, she'd go all slow and try to kiss... Sad, really. But both times, blow my wad, pull out, just a ring. She was hot man, if she wasn't a hooker I'd take her home to Tennessee, but you know... My buddy went back the next year and said Olga was walking down the street pushing a stroller with a newborn-ish baby. She was looking for the tall soldier with brown hair, and it was funny, because the year before she didn't speak English. My son will be 10 in July if it's true...

 

[5BrothersFabrication]

WORST piece-
I dialed a chick on a wrong number once, talked my way into stopping by to "party". I get there, and this chick literally looks like Uga, Georgia's bulldog mascot. Funny thing, she was a HOT 5'0" 180 chubber, but had a REALLY fat chick's face, underbite, and flat nose. Uga.
Anyways, she had some party supplies, so I go in. The broad flat out lied, she had some damn weed, probably grown by spooks, sold by wetbacks. So I mention I gotta head out, she says (no ****) "if I suck your cock, will you burn one with me?" Well... the weed did suck. And so did the bj. I just could not get off for the life of me, rolled through the fap-o-dex, found a good one and thought of her. Nothing. Hard as chinese algebra, but couldn't get off.
So, enter 'Greatest Idea EVER'- I tell her "I don't **** or give a nut for free". **** you not, she went and got her purse! $60 and a sixer later, I was blowin on her back and drawing pictures in it. Anytime after that, whenever I needed a few bucks, I'd call her up and give her the "$50 special". I wish I still had her number, I got a truggy needs finished!
:****:

 

[LaMedic]

Just dropped off at the local hospital and was reading these waiting on the next call. Spit coke all over a nurse.

 

[Kycrip]

Ok ill tell one,
Im 27 at the time an runnin wild! So some friends invite me over for a super bowl party. Arrive an start slammin a fifth of wild turkey an about halfway thru it 2 chicks came in. Other chicks that was there was either with someone or just big. I was minding my biz an during halftime she asked if i had a paper,i find one an we step out to blaze. We exchange small talk an she takes a shot of turkey. We go in an she helps me finish it. By then i notice shes got a killer petite body an nice rack. So we decide we need another bottle an go to my place nearby. I go in an she drops an shines my penny, after a fifth its harder than 10$ in jawbreakers. We go in the bedroom an she drops her pants an no panties. Cool. So i go down on her a start biting an suckin on the little man in the boat. Well shes a squirmin an moaning so i go at it harder. After about a hour i get this awful taste in my mouth! Stinks too! So i look up an shes like what? I hit a light an blood an what is everywhere. The clit i thought in my drunken state was actually a boil an i had lanced it with my tongue! I start throwin up all over the place an run in the bathroom. After getting out of the shower i come out an shes gone thank god! I go to yank the sheets an look an i had sucked the core of that thing out an was layin on the sheets!! I wretched again on the sheets!!
I still to this day dont go out on superbowl sunday!

 

[bradzuki]

I'm in on this....I've got a million stories that I could write books on :****:

Me & Justin were buds since we were like 7. Grew up right next to each other and always hung out. We were out cruising one night and ran into a couple of chicks. One of the girls I had banged several times and knew it was a for sure thing if we picked her up. The only thing stopping this from happening was the cow in the driver's seat. Jenn introduced her rather large and ugly friend as a family friend from out of town which means we are stuck with this bitch all night. We are in Justin's truck and they are in a car so naturally what's gonna happen? Yup, they pile in a reg cab s10 with me and Justin.
So Justin is driving a 5spd with Cowzilla riding bitch and me in the pass seat with Jenn in my lap. We head to the drive thru and get a 12 pack of beer and then proceed to get out of the city limits and cruise back roads drinking. We ride all over Warren County with all of us packed in that damn truck. Ran out of beer because we found out ol big un is a drinker too so we stop and pick up another 12 pack.
Seems like hours pass by and ain't **** going down but we're going broke buying beer. Justin's getting way too drunk to be driving us around any more so we head back to drop the chicks off. Get back to the grocery store parking lot where we met them and we all pour out of the truck. We say our good bye's and as we're getting back in the truck I hollered and asked Jenn if she needed some smokes cuz we're heading over to the store to get one last 12 pack before heading home. She yells back that she does indeed need cigarettes and asks if she can ride over to the store with us while Large Marge waits in the car. "Sure" I call out with an evil grin on my face. I duck inside the cab and tell Justin that we are fixin to bang this chick to which he replies "yeah, right". Jenn comes over and hops in between me and Justin and we start to drive off. We pull up to the gas station and Justin runs in to get the beer and smokes while I sit in the truck and talk **** to Jenn about dumping her friend and going with us so we can **** the hell out of her. About 0.3 seconds later she agrees. Fresh 12 pack and smokes arrive and we start to pull out to head back over to Hott Mess when I inform the driver that we have changed plans. I tell Justin that Jenn has agreed to do a 3 way with us and he starts flipping out saying that he was gonna **** her friend so that I could get it on with Jenn and how appreciative he is that that didn't have to happen. Jenn's all like "aww you would do that for your friend?" and **** and starts talking about this is the first 3 way she's ever done and blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile she's the one that just dumped her family friend in a parking lot in a strange town to go have a 3 way.
Hitting the back roads once again, we start planning on how this is gonna go down. I had just moved back home for winter break, Justin still lived at home, and Jenn lived with her grandma. We didn't have enough money for a hotel room and it was too damn cold to be outside in the bed of the truck. We cruise around talking about where to go when Justin starts talking about an old farm house that his grandpa owns. His family owned lots of nursery and farms around the area and he said one of them had an old farm house on it that no one was living in. We immediately head towards it on the other side of the county. As we're driving over we finish off the last of the cold beers and Jenn's all hugged up on me and ****. We finally get to the farm house and Justin pulls right up to the house. It's got lights on and the house is fully furnished. I'm all freaking out that we're pulling up on some old farmer's **** and he's gonna come out blasting us but Justin assures me that no one is living in the house. We get out and walk around on the porch, looking in the windows, checking the doors----all locked. DAMN! Justin stumbles around and says he's got a key that fits the door on the other side. Tells us to stay put and he'll go around and unlock the door. Just then a BGMT with loud pipes is driving by and kinda slows down at the end of the driveway. Couple of seconds later the back porch light comes on and the door flies open and Justin is standing there shirtless. Not really shirtless, he had a shirt, it just wan't on, instead it was wrapped around his now bleeding hand. We all go in and check the place out. It's pretty creepy with the flower wall paper and old, dim lights. Looks like something straight out of a horror flick. I ask Justin about his hand and he confesses that he had no key but instead broke out a window to unlock the door and had scratched it pretty good. Jenn takes off to find a bathroom and me and Justin hang out in the living room. We start talking about how this is gonna go down and since this is a chick I liked to have hanging around every once in a while I told him I'd take her into a room and get working on her. He could wait about 10 mins or so in the living room and then ease back to where we are and make a casual entrance, lights will be off, and just walk up and get into the mix. No problem. We agree.

Jenn comes back from the shitter and we are talking and checking out the place. I'm giving her the eye and tell her we should go check out some of the rooms. I take her hand and lead her back to one of the bedrooms where we go inside and start kissing. She shuts the door and turns off the light. She comes back over to me and starts rubbing and kissing on me when all of a sudden....BAM!!!......the ****ing bedroom door swings open fast enough to rip the hinges out of the damn wall! There, in an awkward silhouette standing in the doorway, is Justin. Butt Nekkid only 13 seconds into our 10 minute plan. So this is ****ing awkward man, and I mean awkward. Me and Jenn are both completely clothed and standing there staring at Justin's cock and balls. I didn't know what to do so i just grabbed her and started kissing and rubbing on her again. We got hands going everywhere and Justin strolls over and kinda gets behind her and starts rubbing his sausage on her leg and trying to get her shirt off. She goes down and starts blowing me and pulling my pants off while Justin is basically peeling her like a banana to get her clothes off. She gets naked and starts doing the usual skiing down a mountain slope simul-stroke on us and trading blows back and forth. She lays back and Justin says he's going first so I continue to get my knob polished . Justin throws her legs up and slides in when he immediately changes his facial expression from one of pleasure to one of shock. He strokes his meat about 3 times and then bounces back into a kind of fetal position and starts convulsing up against the wall. I'm like "What the ****?!?" and pull my cock out of Jenn's mouth and reach over to flip the light switch. There, in a cocoon of jizz, is Justin. He's got the **** all over him, hair, face, arms, chest, ****ing everywhere. It's like he was in one of those fake porns with an alien or some **** that cums buckets. I dunno, dude musta been holding this one for a while. So now this is even more ****ed up and awkward than it was 3 minutes ago because that's about how much time has passed since Goo Storm here in the floor showed up naked as a jaybird. I tell Justin to get the **** up off the floor and get the hell out. Jenn is a trooper and not to let all this go to waste, she grabs her shirt and de-splooges herself and pulls me back over.
I get to flogging on her finally and we get into the groove again. Everything is quiet and we're having a good time for about 45 mins. I hear some stomping going on outside the bedroom door as I'm wearing this chick out. I'm not paying any attention at all as I'm concentrating on the task at hand. It's King Splooge out there bumbling around trying to get nut out of his hair is what I'm thinking. To my surprise, for the second time of the night, the bedroom door flies open....BAM!!......but this time the silhouette is much different. It is one of Warren Co.s finest officer's of the law with his gun drawn. I'm guessing you don't have to imagine the horror of standing butt ass naked about 4 ft away from a cop with a gun. It was pretty frightening I'll say. So Jenn hops up and cover's herself and I'm standing there getting yelled at with a gun to my head. I'm trying to tell the officer who I am and he's yelling at me about kidnapping and breaking and entering and screaming to get down. I just want to put my drawers on but he yanks me to the ground and cuffs me. Jenn is screaming that she's ok and that we had permission to be here and is yelling for Justin. Justin never shows up. He pulls me up and sits me on the bed and I'm still just wanting anything to cover up with. More cops show up and they search the house where they find Justin in an upstairs bedroom passed out still butt naked. So they pull all of us in the living room and try to sort the night out. They said they had gotten a call from a girl who's friend went to the store to get smokes and never returned. Then they got another call from Justin's grandpa saying that his nephew had driven by the house and saw a vehicle sitting there that shouldn't be there and when he went to investigate found a broken window.
Justin's grandpa shows up and comes in and says he knows us and for the cops to let us go. We have to sit there and tell the whole story of what we had been doing all night to his grandfather who is a pretty big guy in the county owning a shitload of land, businesses, and serving the church and community. He agrees to not press charges as long as we fix the window and attend church with him for the next few Sundays.


Man this took way longer than I expected so I won't go into us taking Jenn back to her family and dropping her off but that was even more drama if you can imagine.

 

[InDaShop]

Ok ill tell one,
Im 27 at the time an runnin wild! So some friends invite me over for a super bowl party. Arrive an start slammin a fifth of wild turkey an about halfway thru it 2 chicks came in. Other chicks that was there was either with someone or just big. I was minding my biz an during halftime she asked if i had a paper,i find one an we step out to blaze. We exchange small talk an she takes a shot of turkey. We go in an she helps me finish it. By then i notice shes got a killer petite body an nice rack. So we decide we need another bottle an go to my place nearby. I go in an she drops an shines my penny, after a fifth its harder than 10$ in jawbreakers. We go in the bedroom an she drops her pants an no panties. Cool. So i go down on her a start biting an suckin on the little man in the boat. Well shes a squirmin an moaning so i go at it harder. After about a hour i get this awful taste in my mouth! Stinks too! So i look up an shes like what? I hit a light an blood an what is everywhere. The clit i thought in my drunken state was actually a boil an i had lanced it with my tongue! I start throwin up all over the place an run in the bathroom. After getting out of the shower i come out an shes gone thank god! I go to yank the sheets an look an i had sucked the core of that thing out an was layin on the sheets!! I wretched again on the sheets!!
I still to this day dont go out on superbowl sunday!

i almost lost my lunch, that is terrible!

 

[bad80cj]

If you been with brocks mom anythin is great.

awesomeness

 

[bad80cj]

Ok ill tell one,
Im 27 at the time an runnin wild! So some friends invite me over for a super bowl party. Arrive an start slammin a fifth of wild turkey an about halfway thru it 2 chicks came in. Other chicks that was there was either with someone or just big. I was minding my biz an during halftime she asked if i had a paper,i find one an we step out to blaze. We exchange small talk an she takes a shot of turkey. We go in an she helps me finish it. By then i notice shes got a killer petite body an nice rack. So we decide we need another bottle an go to my place nearby. I go in an she drops an shines my penny, after a fifth its harder than 10$ in jawbreakers. We go in the bedroom an she drops her pants an no panties. Cool. So i go down on her a start biting an suckin on the little man in the boat. Well shes a squirmin an moaning so i go at it harder. After about a hour i get this awful taste in my mouth! Stinks too! So i look up an shes like what? I hit a light an blood an what is everywhere. The clit i thought in my drunken state was actually a boil an i had lanced it with my tongue! I start throwin up all over the place an run in the bathroom. After getting out of the shower i come out an shes gone thank god! I go to yank the sheets an look an i had sucked the core of that thing out an was layin on the sheets!! I wretched again on the sheets!!
I still to this day dont go out on superbowl sunday!

 

[ldudley]

I have saw and heard lots of **** but that's the absolute worst and most disgusting thing I have ever in my life heard...I'm not sure I would have told that one ..... uke: uke:

 

[TacomaJD]

Re: Re: Worst piece of ass ever!

.....waiting on Brock Also waiting on Brock's mom, she owes me money! Keepin my pimphand strong yo!

Sent from my DROID4 using Xparent Green Tapatalk 2

 

[Kycrip]

I have saw and heard lots of **** but that's the absolute worst and most disgusting thing I have ever in my life heard...I'm not sure I would have told that one ..... uke: uke:

Thanks!!!!

 

[ldudley]

 

[InDaShop]

so nearly 2000 views, and we are only on reply #33 and of those hardly a Hardline story.

either we got a lot of virgins or a buncha ****'s above self-deprecation. I know a few stories about a handful of guys on here, dont make me start typing.

 

[5BrothersFabrication]

Brad's story reminded me of one-

Ex-wife: circa 1999-ish. I graduated high school, she was still in her senior year. I'm 18, she's 17. We had been boning in her car for months now, in various parking lots, my driveway, behind walmarts, etc. One night we park behind the Tech School where they teach diesel repair and truck driving, behind a couple 53' trailers. We go through the usual routine, a little head from her, then we strip down, move the seats all the way up and foward, and get in the back. So she's riding me, and I see headlights coming toward us alongside of the trailer... And it's then that I recognize the hubcaps- Crown Vic. Holy ****. We both scramble into the front seats simultaniously via the center console gap, yank the seats back, and try to get dressed. The hubcap turns away from the trailer and starts to retreat to wherever it came from, and we both breate a sigh of relief. No more than we get that sigh out, and that sonuvabitch whips a half doughnut and slinging gravel around to the backside of the trailer. "HANDS UP MOTHERFUCKER!" I got my hands out the window as SHE walks up to the door with her Glock out. I only have my socks and boxers on at this point, would have my shirt on, but SHE had it on (I couldn't put on her ****ing blouse, duh-her). She was wearing her panties, skirt, and my t-shirt. "What are you two doing back here?" Me being a bigger prick as a teenager, "Well, I'd have thought that it was ****in' obvious." Lady cop says, "Well I was gonna let you two go, but I believe we should call her parents." She did. They let us get dressed while her in church EVERYTIME the doors are open folks got there, but when they showed up they said they wouldn't press charges, but her pop told me he was very disappointed in me. We both left there, and found after that the only place we
could bone was during school hours or a quickie right after. Then she turned 18, we married, divorced, blah blah... Good times.
:

 

[TacomaJD]

so nearly 2000 views, and we are only on reply #33 and of those hardly a Hardline story.

either we got a lot of virgins or a buncha ****'s above self-deprecation. I know a few stories about a handful of guys on here, dont make me start typing.

I's a virgin, momma said them painted up women is the debbil :****:

 

[ridered3]

My buddy went back the next year and said Olga was walking down the street pushing a stroller with a newborn-ish baby. She was looking for the tall soldier with brown hair, and it was funny, because the year before she didn't speak English. My son will be 10 in July if it's true...

So you are saying there is a good chance that this is your son???

 

[ridered3]

WORST piece-
I dialed a chick on a wrong number once, talked my way into stopping by to "party". I get there, and this chick literally looks like Uga, Georgia's bulldog mascot. Funny thing, she was a HOT 5'0" 180 chubber, but had a REALLY fat chick's face, underbite, and flat nose. Uga.
Anyways, she had some party supplies, so I go in. The broad flat out lied, she had some damn weed, probably grown by spooks, sold by wetbacks. So I mention I gotta head out, she says (no ****) "if I suck your cock, will you burn one with me?" Well... the weed did suck. And so did the bj. I just could not get off for the life of me, rolled through the fap-o-dex, found a good one and thought of her. Nothing. Hard as chinese algebra, but couldn't get off.
So, enter 'Greatest Idea EVER'- I tell her "I don't **** or give a nut for free". **** you not, she went and got her purse! $60 and a sixer later, I was blowin on her back and drawing pictures in it. Anytime after that, whenever I needed a few bucks, I'd call her up and give her the "$50 special". I wish I still had her number, I got a truggy needs finished!
:****:

I support your man-whore ways if it gets the trusty done by Memorial Day with the Damn Locals!

 

[5onrocks]

Once upon a time in a land far.... Far away....

My worst lay was one of the hottest chicks I've ever boned. She was by far the worst lay I have ever had... She didn't go down, she didn't ride nothing, nada! She just laid on her back like a dead fish! She was so hot that I didn't even care that she bled all over the sheets like a stuck pig. I know it's weak but that's my worst lay story. I guess that means I've been pretty lucky. I've never tackled a beast or taken one for the team.