funny sayings??

[Stu]

Hard as woodpecker lips

Taking the browns to the super bowl

Growing a tail

Sounds like a cat shitting razor blades

**** salt!

 

[CSMITH]

I ain't ****in stupid !

but i would if she would let me

 

[erok131]

its colder than a well diggers butt

 

[76nick]

that wind is coming straight off a polar bears ass

 

[Rescue1]

I could get a bowl of Alphabet soup and **** a better argument than that!

 

[TacomaJD]

I could get a bowl of Alphabet soup and **** a better argument than that!

Lol that's funny






....boy you really **** in the milk on that one.

 

[mrtoddb]

I'm so happy I could **** and then dance around it!
Looks like she fell out of the "I want to suck a ****" tree, and hit ever branch on the way down!
Meaner than a peach orchard boar!
I'll skin you alive!
I'll tan your hide!
I'll whip your ass and make you like it!
Like tryin to piss up a rope!
Fall in a bucket of **** and come out smellin like a rose.
Don't know **** from shinola!
Don't know his ass from a hole in the ground!
Harder than Chinese arithmetic.
Dumb enough to know better.
Argue with a fence post.
She's like town trolley, everybody gets a ride.
I wouldn't **** her with your ****.
Like a pet coon, what he can't tear up, he'll **** on!

 

[mrtoddb]

Rainin like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
(about rain)
It's comin a turd floater out.
Toad choker..

Hotter than $2 pistol.
All hat and no horse.
They've forgot more about______ than you'll ever know!
Ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Ain't the brightest light in the closet.
Mean enough to **** nails and piss vinegar.
Longer than a whores dream.
Hold her head boys, she's smellin creek water. ( anything on a runaway)
Off like a herd of turtles.
Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin.
So full of **** his eyes are brown.
Couldn't catch a cold.
Wouldn't know a torgue wrench from batman lunchbox!
You better bring a sack lunch and a flashlight, cause it'll take you the rest of the day and all night.
Could **** up a bowling ball with a Qtip.
Went batshit crazy.
Run like raped ape.

 

[reedracing87]

To a girl...do u like playing games? Girl:yes what is it? You: its called war ill lay on my back & u blow the hell outta me!!...you don't want me on u you'll be screaming yal get off me but ill be the only 1 on you!! You'd rather walk through hell in gasoline soaked shorts than to **** with me!! If someone uses 1 of your sayings ::: if I wanted my cum back Ida told u to spit.... I bet your daddy wishes everyday he would have pulled out & shot the making of u on your moms back! Hope your finger breaks trough the toilet paper the next time u ****

 

[Rescue1]

Boy I'll paint your back porch RED!

 

[jayphizzle]

Im sweating like a whore in church.
Im sweating like a :afro: at a clan meeting
Its Africa-Hot out here
This is hard as a minister's ****
hotter than 2 rats f%ckin in a wool sock
you would sooner run cuckleburrs up a lions ass than f%ck with me

 

[jayphizzle]

she is so ugly she would run an Etheopian bulldog off a meat wagon

 

[84turbotoy]

It's hot as a slave ship in here!
Wetter than bass *****!
A room so small you couldn’t yell at a cat without getting a mouthful of fur
About as lucky as a rabbit in a kennel full of hound dogs
About as useless as a pocket in your underwear
As anxious as a one-eyed cat watch’ n two rat holes
As excited as a fag in a leap frog contest
As happy as a ‘ coon in a cornfield with the dogs all tAsk her what time it is & she’ ll tell you how to build a clock
Ass is so tight you could not drive an 8 penny nail in it with a 10 pound sledge hammer
Better than snuff and not near as dusty
Big enough to fight bear with a switch
Confused as a baby in a topless bar
Confused as a termite in a yo-yo
Didn’t have enough sense to pour piss out of a boot if the directions was written on the heel




Tired of typing but more to come!!

 

[84turbotoy]

She smelled like a shitter on a tuna boat!

 

[downinaholega]

as ****ed as a whore at quittin time!

 

[panzer]

I work at a prison so you guys might not see the humor in some of these....so here goes


Boy your about as useless as a cock flavored lolly pop (got that from a movie)

like shootin' pool with a rope

hotter then a sack full of jacked off tom cats

INMATE: I hope you die in a car wreck on the way home
ME: I hope you choke to death on the next **** you suck

INMATE: What he get locked up for C/O ?
ME: Suckin **** in a no **** suckin zone.

If he had as many stuck on him as he had stuck in him he would look like a fat quilled porcupine

blacker then the inside of an 8 ball

nerves as a cat shittin peach pits

sounds like two skeletons ****in on a tin roof

 

[mrtoddb]

That would be like chargin the gates o hell with a water pistol!

 

[under-dog]

she is a three bagger- one for you, one for her, and one for the dog so he doesn't laugh at you the next morning for doing her.
i'm glad i'm not the only peanut stuck in this turd
from a movie; down there i'm like a baby's arm holding an apple in its hand.
i feel worse than a pile of dog **** run over by a garbage truck.
and my all time favorite

all babys are born boys; they just rip the dicks off the dumb ones.

 

[mrtoddb]

She's too damned skinny, be like fawkin a bag o antlers!!!

 

[TacomaJD]

You smell like you got buttfucked by a garbage truck...