The big D and don't mean Dallas...

[bbone]

Cheers

 

[TacomaJD]

Re:

Haha I told her yesterday it sounded like she had depression or something, then I said it aint like I missed his game to go smoke crack with my buddies and didn't do anything else for them either. **** will either change or I will remove myself from the bullshit before it goes on like this another 6 months.

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[TacomaJD]

She may really have a touch of depression. Her dad died (somewhat young @ 53 or 54) last May. She posted this today. Patrick Holmann told me when it happened that she will never be the same again, maybe he called it. I'm gonna try not to be such an ass when she does some smartass **** and see how things go, but dammit, she knows how to press every one of my buttons with that passive aggressive ****, hard for me not to tell her like it is when it gets to that point.

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[redneckengineered]

She may really have a touch of depression. Her dad died (somewhat young @ 53 or 54) last May. She posted this today. Patrick Holmann told me when it happened that she will never be the same again, maybe he called it. I'm gonna try not to be such an ass when she does some smartass **** and see how things go, but dammit, she knows how to press every one of my buttons with that passive aggressive ****, hard for me not to tell her like it is when it gets to that point.

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That sucks but pretty much everyone will go through losing a close parent/loved one at some point in their life. We all just can't fall apart at the seams because life is hard.

I also can't stand passive aggressive behavior. I would make it clear that it won't be tolerated. Either come at me with your problem directly and let's handle it together or shove it up your ass and deal with it yourself. Man that **** burns me up. Triggered as **** right now.

 

[TacomaJD]

Everything been fine since I posted that last comment. Normal and happy as can be. I feel like no matter what, she has that "everyone is out to get me in some sort of negative way, even my own husband" attitude. Then we something upsets her that should never, it makes me mad because she should know better, then we both end up mad. Lol. She is a great pessimist, glass is always half empty, so I'd say that is the basis of most of our great disagreements. I'm sure after a while, it will die down and things will equalize. Like I said, she is definitely not a terrible bitch or I wouldn't have asked her to marry me, but dammit, some days it's like she tries extra hard to be a terrible bitch haha.

 

[TacomaJD]

Re:

Update, Greg must be waving his magic wand, been pretty perfect between us. Celebrating her 30th bday at the casino in Philadelphia, MS next weekend. Looking forward to that. Maybe **** will remain normal for awhile, I like it much better this way.

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[Juan_Hong_Loe]

Awesome to hear!!

 

[CHASMAN9]

Re:

Update, Greg must be waving his magic wand, been pretty perfect between us. Celebrating her 30th bday at the casino in Philadelphia, MS next weekend. Looking forward to that. Maybe **** will remain normal for awhile, I like it much better this way.

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This is great news Josh, but, magic wand, NO, changed the way you might look at things, YES. It takes two to make it work and when there is a child/stepchild involved, it takes even more patience. It's so easy when you are not married to just walk away and say "I'm done" but when the ring is put on, it's for life and God has away of making sure you both are invested in the relationship. Nobody said it would be easy and it looks like you both passed the first of many tests to come. The next time ya'll fight, just remember this thread and what you read and HOW you read it, and that you did to get through a rough spot. 22 years later for me and I could not imagine not being with the same woman day after day. "Yes there are days I would love to set her on fire and walk away" but that is the same woman I would literally DIE for so she wouldn't have to feel 1 minute of pain. It's definitely worth it buddy.




ADMINISTRATOR

 

[CheapJ7]

Well, hows it going. Updates?

I remember when I first met Kelly he was talking about killing his wife, sealing her body in a plastic barrel, digging a deep hole and burying it under a bunch of cow carcasses. I heard that story several times. Haha

 

[TacomaJD]

Going good man! Other than a couple normal non-elevated disagreements, been about as normal as it gets. A lot happier. She even was cool when all my peeps came over to watch the fight last weekend. Maybe she was just in a turrible mood for a while, idk. Maybe things will remain this way.

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[CHASMAN9]

Going good man! Other than a couple normal non-elevated disagreements, been about as normal as it gets. A lot happier. She even was cool when all my peeps came over to watch the fight last weekend. Maybe she was just in a turrible mood for a while, idk. Maybe things will remain this way.

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This is good to hear, BUT, not the time to just let things be "GOOD". Josh, if you want this to last, do something above and beyond to show her that you do love her and not just content with the arguments slowing down and it doesn't have to be something drastic. What did you two do when you were dating that the both of you enjoyed the most that you don't do now that you are hitched? Just trying to help you make it last.




ADMINISTRATOR

 

[TacomaJD]

Re:

We don't really do anything differently than when we dated, but we are both much busier now. The busy-ness was brought on when her dad passed last year. He drove a school bus on the side, so he was always able to get her son to school, now I have to. So I get 4 or 5 hrs of sleep, get him to school, then if Im lucky I go back home and sleep for 2-3 more hrs before I have to be at school myself, or run errands, or like today, I just get 5 hrs of sleep, carry the boy to school, and drive straight to Huntsville to work on the new leg some more for a few hrs, then go home and go to work all night. She went in to work at 3am this morning and will have to work til 3 this evening.

I was really hoping I could land that TVA job, I was going to let her quit work so she could carry her boy to school and pick him up each day, and try to get a lunch lady or substitute job at his school. Just something for a little extra cash but with the flexibility of being able to take him to and pick him up from school.

We used to go wheeling and go ride the bike a lot, but its down to no wheeling and I have to plan to ride the bike now. Her rental house and the tenant sucks, been remodeling it little by little, just had new french doors put in Saturday, gotta replace linoleum next. But the revenue is covering those expenses.

Gotta get that old Ford Galaxy rust bucket out that was her dad's and sell it. Gotta get her Massey Furgeson tractor out, replace the loader joystick and the seat and get it sold. Eventually gonna have to remodel her house she lived in with her dad and either rent or sell it. She is still making her mind up on that. So much yardwork needs to be done there its not even funny. Her dad was a busy man and a hoarder. Junk piles of tractor parts and chicken house parts everywhere. I have a bad land erosion problem to take care of at my old house that I am renting, probably gonna have to pay someone to fix that one.

We both work our asses off at our jobs, I deal with school, she deals with her boy playing football and baseball, couple rental houses, and all the other **** mentioned above, etc. Leaves about half the time to enjoy ourselves as we used to have. With her working 1st and me 2nd, we live in the same house and I don't see her mon - friday. But its always been like that. I dont mind being busy, but with so much going on its harder for me to focus on school when so much more needs to be done, especially when it has to do with financial gains like dealing with rental units. Makes school seem less important.

Then there's the underlying thought that my job is on the rocks...hell, its life tho. I know tons of people stay as busy or worse than me/us and make it. Gonna have to prioritize some things one of these days though.

But as for when I said it's going "good", that was meant as great! Didn't mean for it to sound mediocre lol. We haven't had what I would call an arguement in a long time. We both have been much happier since I started this thread. Like daylight and dark difference.

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[TacomaJD]

Re:

Ohhhh, I'm about ready to sign some papers. **** been pretty good up until the last week or two, super bitch mode is back. I've had about all I can stand of the unreasonable, lacking logic, smartass back and forths. I think we just ****ed up getting married. Two very different people after living together 1.5 years.

We were gonna grill out at our house tonight and have family over, her sister's family did not let us know if they were coming yesterday so I asked again today and wife said she ain't heard from them. So I said text and make sure before we go to the grocery store, as her family consists of 5 people and I want to ensure we have enough food. She says "I know they will go to church this evening but don't know if they will come or not".....ok, so I say "thats why I said text/call and ask her..." and she says "stop complaining!" In a smartass tone. It's been like this nearly every day we have been off for Christmas. She's turned into one of the most inconsiderate assholes I know. Which runs in her family. Just took time to show I guess. Jeezus H Christ I'm about ready to choke her in the face.

Anyways that little back and forth resulted in a canceled cookout and her and her son just left. Of course she blames it on me, even in front of Weston. I'm to the point of seeing VERY little reason to keep putting up with this ****. ****ing makes me furious!

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[bbone]

Ups and downs...Thats a part of it.

 

[TacomaJD]

Re:

Yep, the end is near. Been arguing since Sunday. Most of the time not talking at all actually, but feuding when we do talk. We just are unable to see eye to eye on too many important things. Things that I am unable to look over any longer. I am pretty sure going separate ways would be best and mutually beneficial. We've wasted enough time ****ing this chicken.

Sucks, nothing I hate more than wasting time on something that ends up being a failure, but to succeed we must first fail. I probably should have caught it earlier before we got married, but I was too kind in giving her benefit of the doubt.

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[P]

Re:

Yep, the end is near. Been arguing since Sunday. Most of the time not talking at all actually, but feuding when we do talk. We just are unable to see eye to eye on too many important things. Things that I am unable to look over any longer. I am pretty sure going separate ways would be best and mutually beneficial. We've wasted enough time ****ing this chicken.

Sucks, nothing I hate more than wasting time on something that ends up being a failure, but to succeed we must first fail. I probably should have caught it earlier before we got married, but I was too kind in giving her benefit of the doubt.

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Hate to hear that man, divorce sux.











But oh man was mine worth it !!!

 

[bbone]

Ask her if she wants to be married

Ask her if she thinks you or her are trying to STAY married

 

[TacomaJD]

Re:

Its gotten pretty ugly, harsh things said on both accounts. Discussed separating then she started genuinely acting like she would be willing to try and give it another chance...

But upon discussing separating, I mentioned getting another mortgage on our house and keeping it, and she got smart and said nope, we would sell it. She inherited about $300k worth of land, 2 houses, and 2 chicken houses, and wants to sell our house to **** me out of a place to live. She has her dad's old house she can move back into, and its paid for. Try to **** me out of our house, ****. I told her she better lawyer up if she plans on going that path. There's the true colors showing why I dont need someone like her in my life. Our house would not sell for more than we owe on it, we only paid 3.5% down and actually financed it for $8k more than what we gave for it and the seller gave us that back (money toward shop fund), so she has invested very little in our house and might get $1500 at the most if we sold our house and split the money.

****ing ridiculous. **** sucks ass, will be glad when it is over.

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[GIZMO1]

Divorce is the very last resort, I would try counseling or whatever you can if you do truly Love her. I have been down this path and it wasn't my choice, I still feel the pain from it as she took my ass to the cleaners and she hadn't worked since we got married because I was paying for her to go to college full time. Its amazing how greedy people can get once the divorce word is thrown in the mix. I hope it all works out for you and the relationship can be salvaged, If not be careful because until the divorce is final she can take what she wants and spend what she wants without any trouble. When my ex left she had the bank account cleaned out the same day. She left me 50 bucks and all the bills.

 

[TacomaJD]

Re:

She changed her tune a little last night once she figured out I was seriously fed up to the max. Now offering to try and fix things (again). My initial thinking on this is a marriage is a lot to throw away, so what's the difference in now and in 6 months if it's just not gonna work out. We are still not really talking much, and I'm so mad over all this, I'm not ready to talk much really.

As far as divorce, if it happens, our finances are kept completely separate. We've never combined accounts, I pay her cell phone bill and car insurance ($100), she pays our Dish Network bill ($100), and she gives me $200 each month for her part of the house payment, I pay the other $688 of it. I honestly figured she wouldn't be complicated if we did split, just sign where she takes her **** and I take mine, and I get another mortgage in my name only to keep our house. I have a friend that done it that way, simple divorce for two people that had no business getting married.

She has very little investment in our house, she works and supports her own self, she gets rent money and keeps for herself, and she gets child support from her first marriage. We've proportioned the bills so we each have about the same amount leftover each month after all bills are paid. She could not afford this house by herself, but I could easily. I wouldn't figure there would be any way she could pull a stunt and get it ruled that we had to sell the house when she has a vacant house already, I have nowhere to go, I want to keep the house, she does not want to keep the house, and she makes plenty money to make it on her own.

We may give it another whirl for the umpteenth time, but in the meantime, I have a good lawyer who is also a friend, and I am going to meet with him soon and seek his advice on our circumstances if we were to divorce. I'm not getting the shitty end of the deal on this, I've been too nice and worked extremely hard for her to just go down in flames and lose ****.

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